Flaking is without a doubt one of the most frustrating things men will encounter out there in the “dating world.”

In short, flaking is when a woman cancels last minute, or does not show up for a date that was mutually agreed upon prior.

Let’s be honest, getting flaked on SUCKS!

In fact, it can cause some men to lose their confidence and take a break from dating altogether.

You meet a cute girl, she seems interested, you have a date planned, and then it never happens.

I certainly know the feeling and it’s not a good one.

Do you want to know the #1 reason why a woman flakes?



If a girls likes you, she will make EVERY effort possible to meet up with you.

Several years back, I can still remember this girl I approached at the gym who was willing to skip her best friend’s birthday to meet up at a time I initially suggested.


Now that is eager to meet up.

Sometimes, though, women give out their numbers at the time to not appear rude but are really hoping you don’t call or text them.

Sometimes women change their minds too. (I think women do this from time to time?)

She liked you at the time but is trying to get back with her ex.

Or, perhaps she’s not so crazy about meeting up with a random stranger after all.

Now, despite what you may have read before, there is NO fool proof way to completely eliminate flaking.

Sometimes it just happens.

You have any family members or friends who are flaky?

You have plans set in stone, and surprise, surprise, they bail last second.

Is there any “magical way” to make these people more reliable and hold true to their word?

Not really.

Some women are the same way.

They’re just unreliable and flaky in general.

So, although there’s no way to completely flaking, there are definitely ways to greatly reduce and they include the following:

1. Be the kind of guy women want to meet

Don’t expect too many women to be too eager to meet up if you’re not taking care of yourself.

For example, let’s take an attractive, fit, young professional lady.

She’s single and wants to meet a great guy.

Do you honestly think she wants to meet a guy who’s out of shape, has terrible style, no drive whatsoever, and can barely rub two cents together?

Being the best you can with what you have is BY FAR the best way to reduce flaking.

2. Set the plans in person

For some reason, I’ve always found setting up plans in person made women more likely to meet up.

It just seems to make things more committal.

This obviously isn’t possible if it’s a first date with a woman you met through an online dating site, though.

3. Be decisive with the plans

Have exact plans ready when you text her.

Nothing turns women off more than, “I’m not really sure what we’re going to do. What did you want to do?”

It’s certainly fine to be flexible, but at the very least, have an idea of what you want to do.

4. Confirm plans on the day of the date

I believe you should ALWAYS confirm plans on the day of the date.

I also believe you should do so in a manner that is assuming that the date is going to happen.

“Hey! Hope your day is going good. I’ll see you at (wherever the date is) at (whatever time) tonight”

A poor text to send would be:

“Are we still on tonight at 8?”

Also, if a woman does not reply back to your text confirming the date, DO NOT show up.

I can guarantee you that she won’t either.

There’s 2 types of flaking:

1. She straight up doesn’t show up

You show up at the time agreed upon by both of you, and she’s not there.

You wait around and perhaps 10-15 minutes later you send her a text.

No reply.

Where is she?

Unfortunately, this can happen to ANYONE from time to time to.

I’ve been lucky to not have this happen very often to me.

In fact, I can only think of two instances where she was a total “no show.”

A confirmation text on the day of date will prevent this from happening, because like I said, if she doesn’t confirm, don’t bother showing up.

2. She cancels last minute

This is generally the more common type of flaking you will encounter.

Example: You have plans to meet her for a drink at 9 at a local pub. She texts you around 7 and says:

“Hey, I’m not going to be able to make it now, something came up”

“Hey I’m pretty tired. Maybe some other time”

That being said, though, there is a HUGE difference between flaking and not being able to make it:

“Hey! So sorry. I’m not going to be able to make it tonight. I feel a flu coming on. Can we try for tomorrow instead? I hope to feel better by then.”

“I’m sorry but it’s my aunt’s birthday party tonight. I completely forgot when you asked me. Are you free on Friday? Sorry again.”

When a woman actually wants to meet up, she’ll often indicate so in her message.

Now, not only is there flaking, but also flaky behavior as well.

This is a bit different than flaking.

Flaky behavior is when a woman is being indecisive and won’t commit to plans for the life of her.

An example would be saying “Maybe” all the time when you try and set up plans.

Also, when you send her a text and she replies several days down the road and says, “Sorry, I’ve just been so busy lately. I didn’t get a chance to reply until now.”

Now, sometimes when you meet women more randomly (online dating and during the day) they can initially be a bit more “cold”.

They’re not sure about you yet as they hardly know you.

Then, after they meet you they gladly return your texts and can’t wait to see you again.

Unfortunately, this can go the other way, too.

Sometimes they don’t like you that much after the date and then they start being flaky.

One thing you will likely encounter from time to time when you don’t bother texting/calling flakers back is this that sometimes they’ll actually text you a week or so down the road.

I know it sounds weird, but it will happen from time to time.

I will say, though, when a girl does this, she almost certainly WILL meet up.

She did make the effort to reach out to you.

Ultimately, it will be up to you if you want to meet her.

You may have already moved on.

Guys who take care of themselves and can meet the types of women they want to meet will have no time for flakers.

They realize there’s tons of gorgeous women out there who DO actually show up.

When you improve your physical appearance and work on your lifestyle, you become a hot commodity to women.

You’re a rarity compared to the other guys they’ve been meeting.

If a girl does flake, there’s no need to lose your cool over it.

DO NOT get really mad and tell her off.

Why bother?

Women that flake/are flaky are not worth your time.

It says a lot about their personality.

They’re obviously not very considerate, and most importantly……….


Closing Thoughts 

Like I said, although there’s no way to completely eliminate it, you can certainly reduce it by following the simple tips outlined in this article.

Don’t beat yourself up too much over a flake here and there.

Sometimes it just happens.

Plus, you’re a cool guy and there’s lots of women out there who would LOVE to meet you 🙂

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